Emotional Intelligence
- Eva Luong
- Nov 17, 2018
- 6 min read
Updated: Dec 3, 2018
Experts say emotional intelligence is crucial in predicting our health, happiness and success (Gabriel, 2018).
Why does EQ matter?
Before we can understand the importance of Emotional Intelligence (EQ), we must first understand what it is. According to Daniel Goleman:
EQ refers to how well we handle ourselves and our relationships.
Simply put, EQ gives individuals the ability to read their instinctive feelings and those of others. Not only that, but it helps the person to better express themselves as well as allow them to regulate their emotions in effective ways for positive results (Gabriel, 2018).
Those with high EQ have better awareness of their emotions, understand what drives their decision-making and behaviours as well as be able to engage and influence those around them. They are equipped with the ability to think outside the box, are open-minded to ideas, and resilient to challenges.
Therefore, a high EQ is a great predictor of career success (Gabriel, 2018). In the workplace, it is the employees that can collaborate, attune their emotions to challenges and bring data to life in a connective way. They are the ones who will create the most value for the company and be top industry leaders.
Not only in the workplace, but EQ is also applicable to achieving high academic scores as it also reduces anti-social behaviour in children (Goleman, n.d.). According to Goleman, children with high EQ make better life choices, get better grades and are more successful further on in their personal and professional lives (Kadane, 2017).
What would happen if there is low to no EQ?
In a world without EQ, leaders would not be able to effectively communicate and influence their employees. There would be a lack of cooperation and self-awareness among leaders with team members, which can develop into a toxic environment and low productivity. Interpersonal skills to connect with others would not exist because leaders and subordinates do not have the ability to empathize with others. Furthermore, people would not be able to identify how they feel, comprehend right from wrong in their decision-making and only act in self-interest as they disregard others.
However, EQ would bring about effective resolutions to problems such as the above both in the workplace and personal life. Leaders can create a safe and comfortable environment for their employees to speak freely to increase innovation and productivity. Those that can empathize as well as manage the emotions of others can act in the interest of the group when making a decision. EQ can be applied in ones personal life as the person can self-manage by aligning their positive emotions with their passion and attuning their emotions to learn and develop as a person; the person will have a better ability to cope under pressure and strive through challenges.
Theory on EQ
The origin of EQ was theorized in 1990 by Peter Salovey from Yale University and John (Jack) Mayer, a professor of psychology in the University of New Hampshire (Gabriel, 2018). The result of their research showed how emotions are the primary impact of a person's thought process and behaviour. It was further built upon by experts such as Daniel Goleman to include 4 domains:
Self-awareness:knowing what we are feeling and why we are feeling it. Our moral compass and intuition to good decision-making.
Self-management:the ability to regulate and attune our distressing emotions in effective ways so that the negative emotions do not cripple what we are doing and allow us to learn from the situation and better develop ourselves. The ability to cope in hardships and when under pressure.
Empathy: perceiving what someone else is feeling.
Relationship Management:combining all the factors above to be skillful in relationships. The ability to manage other peoples emotions.
These domains are a part of EQ. The more developed these domains become, the better the individual is at considering others and being a team player. They become effective in connecting and understanding those around them because of empathy and relationship management which allows them to make their employees happy. If employees are satisfied with their workplace, they become productive and loyal as they carry the leader through and meet goals for the company.
Warren Buffett, Howard Schultz, and Alan Mulally are a few shinning examples of Fortune 500 CEOs with high EQs. These top leaders are evidence that high EQ is important to be a successful leader. Alan Mulally, CEO of Ford takes his time to write handwritten notes to let each of his employees know what great work they are doing for the company, and this combined with his interpersonal skills that makes one feel like they are "the only one in the room" when they are having a conversation with him, significantly improves innovation and productivity within Ford (Coney, 2011). Another case is Howard Schultz, who cares about his employees greatly and is committed to generous healthcare benefits. His main reason for coming back to the company is his love for the people working there (Coney, 2011). Warren Buffett is another inspiring leader with great EQ that held numerous CEOs' admiration and loyalty as he gave them flexibility and advised them to run their companies as if they were to own them 100 years from now (Coney, 2011).
Implementation
Most appealing, EQ can be learned and improved on. Unlike IQ, EQ is intuitive. Everyone has different levels of EQ. But with constant practice, EQ can be further developed. Therefore, it is a valuable tool for leadership. As leaders are not born, they are made.
Key Behaviours to Improve EQ:
Reflect on your emotions:take some time in your day to observe how you feel in certain situations such as when you have a major deadline coming up, when your significant other blames you for something you feel is unfair, or how you feel when someone cuts you off when you are driving (Bariso, 2016). Be aware what are the sensations you are feeling, this is identifying your own emotions and reactions. This helps you become more mindful and start the process of building control. The more you practice, the more it will become second nature.
Pay attention to how you behave: it is important to notice your behaviour when you are in the process of practicing emotional awareness. Realize how you behave when your are experiencing a certain emotion and how it affects you throughout the day (Bariso, 2016). Managing our emotions becomes easier if we are aware of how we react to them.
Ask others for perspective: how we view ourselves might be different from what others see. By understanding how perception differs, we can minimize the consequences those differences create (Bariso, 2016). We can learn from other's perspectives by asking close friends, family or coworkers about our interaction with them. You can use this knowledge to adjust how you deal with others. This helps you to be open-minded to ideas and suggestions of others. Furthermore, it shows your are committed to doing what it takes to make necessary changes.
Be observant: you can be more observant with your emotions with the new knowledge you gain from others (Bariso, 2016).. Armed with your self-reflection and what others have shared, you will be able to more affectively attune to your emotions. This helps you to both reflect on the positive and negative emotions which is key to becoming a well-rounded person, who is more resilient and able to learn from the negative and move on from past adversity.
Be mindful: we now have more aware and in self-control to think before we speak and act (Bariso, 2016). This helps further build healthy and long-term relationships. In addition, this brings about effective communication.
Think "why?": exploring why helps us to understand others better (Bariso, 2016). Try to see the situation from the other person's perspective, this will improve your empathy and compassion. Ask why does the person feel that way? What are they dealing with that I don't see? Try to work alongside them to get a better understanding of their reasons for the behaviour. This allows you to see them for who they are, rather than only see them as an unproductive or anti-social employee. For example, this will help you control your own emotions of anger toward the person or employee.
Learn from criticism: it is hard to have someone come in and tear down your hard work and effort. But often criticism is rooted in truth (Bariso, 2016). When receiving negative feedback, try looking at it from a third persons point of view. Set your personal emotions aside and try to learn from the situation, rather than let your emotions get the better of you. Use the feedback for improvement, do not let the negative emotion hinder self-development.
Practice makes perfect: like any other skills you want to master, practicing it over and over again will improve your EQ significantly. It is not a process that can be achieved overnight, but years of consistent practice will allow you to achieve happiness in both your career and personal life.
Most importantly, take responsibility for your own emotions. The feelings you are experiencing and how you react to them all comes from you. They are not from anyone else. Take responsibility for them, and this awareness will help you to control your emotions and behaviour, which will impact you positively in all areas of your life (Martin, 2018).
Below are additional sources of information to help increase EQ.
Check out this site for more tips to improving EQ!
References
Bariso, J. (2016, April 11). How to Increase Your Emotional Intelligence. Inc. Retrieved from https://www.inc.com/justin-bariso/how-to-increase-your-emotional-intelligence.html
Coney, C. (2011, October 2). The Top 10 Emotionally-Intelligent Fortune 500 CEOs. Huffpost. Retrieved from https://www.huffingtonpost.com/chip-conley/the-top-10-emotionallyint_b_911576.html
Gabriel, E. (2018, July 26). Understanding emotional intelligence and its effects on your life. CNN. Retrieved from https://www.cnn.com/2018/04/11/health/improve-emotional-intelligence/index.html
Goleman, D. (n.d.). Emotional Intelligence. Retrieved from http://www.danielgoleman.info/topics/emotional-intelligence/
Roche Martin. (2018). 50 tips for improving your emotional intelligence. Retrieved from https://www.rochemartin.com/blog/50-tips-improving-emotional-intelligence/#Emotional_Intelligence
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